Patience is its own reward

Patience is its own reward.

This is the first bloom on the rose bush I planted last summer.

I found the plant on sale at the end of last season and it didn’t look like much.  It took me over a month before I finally got it in the ground.  I lined the hole with new soil and fertilizer.  Through the winter I waited patiently for it come up.  I was nervous because I do not have a green thumb so there was a little apprehension as to what it would look like.

This is what came up in the spring.  I was devastated. I was sure I had killed it.

Still, I kept an eye on it and did some trimming and sure enough nature took care of itself.  This morning I woke up to my first bloom, and isn’t it glorious.  Just looking at it makes me smile.

Patience has been a difficult virtue for me to cultivate and trust.  Time after time life shows me that patience is what we need most.  I have been studying mindfulness and awareness for more than 10 years, and have been meditating for that amount of time.  When I meditate and study I do feel good, more at peace, more tolerant with less of a need for control.  Then I would go out into the real world and experience life.  Much of the time in the beginning all my practice and knowledge would go out the window; I would be back on automatic pilot just reacting.  I felt as if it was a wasted effort.  Sometimes it was so hard to get back on the cushion.  But I kept doing my practice.

A funny thing has been happening along the way.  It all keeps getting easier.  As time goes on I am able to become aware of what is going on in life and my reaction to it as it is happening.  I am able to look within and respond, rather that react.  This doesn’t mean that life has changed, it hasn’t.  I still get caught in traffic, have to pay the bills, get annoyed.  But my relationship to all this has changed.  My perspective has changed.  I’ve changed.

Turns out I have been planting and nurturing the right seeds in my mind all along.  My patience and dedication have paid off.  I still get caught sometime on automatic pilot and reacting, however, this happens less and less and awareness come much sooner.  I am a happier, more balanced person.

So – Patience truly is its own reward.

 

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